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Find and Focus on Your Cheerleaders

6/24/2024

By Christine Murray

Last month, I ran the Pittsburgh Back Half Marathon, a unique race where the start line was the halfway point of the full Pittsburgh Marathon.

The Pittsburgh Marathon's incredible spectators made the experience unforgettable. The crowd is electric. I'm convinced it's because Pittsburgh is such a big sports town that the spectators are experts in cheering on their hometown team, even if in this case, the hometown team is a massive crowd of runners!

The spectators lined the streets and cheered for all of the race participants, most of whom were complete strangers, offering words of encouragement and support for the course ahead.

As I ran along the miles and miles of spectator support, a thought crossed my mind: "What if everyone cheered each other on like this all the time?" What if, in life, we celebrated each other's journeys and successes with the same enthusiasm?

The experience of having so many spectators cheering on my fellow runners and me was incredible for several reasons. First, it was so encouraging and uplifting to hear people saying things like, “You got this, runners! Stay strong!” The cheers also sometimes offered helpful information, such as when they were yelling, “This is the last big hill! It’s all downhill all the rest of the race!”

Having such incredible crowd support helps racers feel seen. The spectators understood that we were in the middle of a challenging experience, and they were committed to doing what they could to help us have a great experience.

And, of course, the awesome spectators also added some fun and laughter to the race experience. I saw signs referencing Barbie and Ken, another saying “Go random stranger!,” and even one that said, “I made a sign for you!” These fun and creative signs were a great reminder that while the race was challenging, it’s important to not take it too seriously!

Whether during life’s challenges or an actual race, cheerleaders help us move forward feeling encouraged and supported.

Of course, not everyone is cheering for us in life. But amidst the cheers, I was reminded of the importance of focusing on positivity and encouragement. Most of the time, when people aren’t cheering for us, it’s more about them than it is about us anyway.

This week, I invite you to take a few moments to reflect on and appreciate those who have cheered you on during the challenges you’ve faced. If you haven’t found the right cheerleaders yet, keep looking and seek out connections that will offer your support.

And, seek out opportunities to be a cheerleader for others as well. Chances are, the more encouragement that you offer to others, the more encouragement that will come back your way!

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In the Midst of Major Changes, Find Joy in the Simple Things

6/17/2024

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By Christine Murray

I have a small obsession every spring in North Carolina: Pink dogwood tree blossoms! Every spring, I’m always on the lookout for pink dogwood blooms, and this past spring was no exception. I snapped this photo on one of my springtime walks when I found one along my path:

I have nothing against the more common white dogwood flowers, and I also took this picture in my neighborhood this spring:

I love it when all of the dogwood trees are in bloom, as this is always a sign of warmer temperatures ahead, but there’s just something extra special about the pink ones to me. I think I love them so much because they’re rarer than the white dogwood blossoms. I’d estimate that for every 20 or more white dogwood trees I see, I see one pink one. Something about the pink ones just calls my name, and I truly feel so much joy whenever I find one I can get close enough to admire and take a picture of!

I must confess, however, that I’ve not always been the type of person to allow myself to slow down and enjoy the simple things in life like spotting a favorite tree blooming in spring. Especially when times are busy–like the season of job transition and other life changes that I’ve been in the midst of for a while now–I’ve had a hard time finding the space to enjoy simple pleasures and stay present in the moment.

And yet, it’s actually during the busiest seasons in life that it can be most important to practice mindfulness and to allow ourselves to enjoy simple joy amidst the busyness. Finding joy in simple things during busy times of transition is important because it can bring a sense of calm amid chaos.

If you’re like me and find yourself having a hard time slowing down enough to enjoy simple moments, here are a few tips:

Slow your pace (whenever possible) to give yourself the time and space to notice small moments of joy. Seasons of change can be very busy, so we can’t always slow down our pace too much, but even by taking a few slower moments throughout the day, we can open up opportunities to pay attention to potential sources of joy in the world around us.
Reduce distractions. Often, when I’m out walking, I like to listen to podcasts or music. However, when I went out looking for pink dogwood blossoms this spring, I found it helpful to walk in silence so I was more attuned to the world around me. I wouldn’t even stand a chance of seeing the flowers if I was glued to my phone! Try to have some low- or no-distraction times, even during really busy seasons.
Be intentional about looking for joyful things. You may not be as singularly focused as I was when I was out looking for pink dogwood trees, but try to be proactive about looking for positive things (or experiences, or special moments with the important people in your life). Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to overlook the things and moments in life that could bring us greater joy. But by bringing intention to our search, we are much more likely to notice opportunities for joy.
Let gratitude sink in. This might sound silly, but when I find a pink dogwood tree, I like to stop and admire it for a few moments. Of course, sometimes I have to just walk on by, but my springtime quest for pink dogwood trees is a reminder to me that it’s important to practice gratitude in the moment. After all, the trees are only in bloom for a short while, and then it’ll be another year before I have the chance to see one again. There’s a lot of research on the benefits of practicing gratitude. It can be challenging to keep up a gratitude practice during seasons of a lot of transitions and stress, but simple joys can help us connect with our appreciation, even in busy times.

It’s June now, so pink dogwood season is already in the past here in North Carolina. I’ve had to look for other little sources of joy now, and I encourage you to do the same. Embracing moments of simple joy–even during really busy times–goes a long way toward fostering our mental health and keeping us grounded in the present moment. What simple joys might you seek out today?

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Summer Mental Health Tips: Staying Cool When the Temps Are Rising

6/14/2024

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By Christine Murray

As we’re getting closer to the official start of summer, we’ve taken this week at Start Here Counseling & Consulting to focus on how we can promote our mental health during the summertime. Below you’ll find tips to help you stay emotionally cool and grounded as the temperatures rise.

Tip #1: Recognize and Process Intense Emotions that Can Come with Rising Temperatures

As the heat of summer increases, it's common to experience heightened emotions. If you find yourself becoming more irritable, stressed, or experiencing mood swings due to the rising temperatures, know that this is a normal response.

The stress of high temperatures can push our minds and bodies into overdrive as we work to stay cool and regulate our internal environment. This discomfort alone can contribute to feelings of irritability.

To manage these emotions effectively, practice self-compassion and take steps to process your emotions in healthy ways. This can include expressing your feelings openly, perhaps through journaling, and finding constructive outlets for your emotions, such as talking about them with a counselor or trusted friend.

Tip #2: Embrace Flexibility in Summer Schedule Changes

During the summer months, life often becomes more unpredictable as schedules and routines shift. Whether it's people taking time off for vacations or children being out of school, these changes can bring both excitement and added challenges. Finding childcare, planning vacations, and managing all the related logistics can all add to our stress.

However, these changes offer an opportunity to practice flexibility and self-care. Embrace the sometimes-unpredictable flow of summer by adapting to new schedules and routines, prioritizing self-care, and finding moments of relaxation amidst the busyness.

Tip #3: Stay Present in the Moment During Summer Adventures

Summer often offers opportunities for adventures, both big and small.

Explore the sense of adventure that summer brings by trying out new activities and embracing spontaneity. Even on a budget, there are plenty of ways to enjoy adventures, such as exploring new hiking trails, treating yourself to a new ice cream flavor, or simply taking in the beauty of a sunrise.

Let summer’s longer days and spirit of adventure inspire you to step outside your comfort zone, try new things, and learn more about yourself along the way.

Tip #4: Prioritize Rest Alongside Summer Fun

Amidst the excitement of summertime fun, be sure to prioritize rest for your well-being. With so much to explore and do, it's tempting to stay constantly on the go.

However, remember that our bodies require adequate rest to recharge and stay healthy. Make time for restful activities like quality sleep, relaxation by a pool or body of water, and moments of mindfulness.

Use these moments to be fully in the present moment, letting go of thoughts about upcoming tasks, to-do lists, and schedules. Balancing summer fun with rest ensures you can enjoy the season to its fullest while also caring for your mental and physical well-being.

Tip #5: Practice Good Sleep Hygiene During Longer Summer Days

With longer and sunnier days during summer, it's important to be proactive about maintaining good sleep habits. While the extended daylight can be enjoyable, it also has the potential to disrupt our natural sleep patterns.

To promote high-quality sleep, stick to a consistent bedtime routine, wind down before sleep by limiting screen time, and aim to wake up around the same time each morning.

These practices help regulate your body's sleep-wake cycle, ensuring you get the restorative rest needed to feel refreshed, both emotionally and physically.

Cheers to an Amazing Summer Ahead!

While summer can bring a sense of fun and lightness, it also can come with changes, disrupted routines, and hot temperatures that may affect our mental and emotional well-being. This week, we've explored tips to support mental health during this summer season.

Here's to a summer full of adventure, moments of pure joy, and plenty of opportunities for rest and relaxation. Wishing you the best that this year’s summer season will be a time of growth, self-care, and meaningful experiences!

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Finding Your Way through the Maze of Counselors: Some Tips for Finding the Right Counselor for You

6/3/2024

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By Christine Murray

Whether the question comes from friends, neighbors, or colleagues, I’m often asked for recommendations on finding a counselor. I’m always happy to help when I can, and I’ve come to feel like this is sort of a matchmaking process, connecting individuals with a counselor that might be well-suited for them.

Even though I provide counseling services myself, I also know that I’m not always going to be the right fit for all prospective clients who may reach out to me. I believe it’s important for each person to find the right counselor or therapist who can offer the unique approach and type of support that they need to fit their unique situation and circumstances.

Finding a therapist or counselor can be complicated, especially now that there are known mental health professional shortages in many parts of the country. If you’re just getting started trying to navigate the maze of potential counselors to find some potential options that might work for you, I’ve pulled together some tips here to hone in on your needs and preferences, as well as a few steps to take to start your search.

Identifying Your Preferences

First, check out the list below to consider the type of therapist and treatment approaches that might resonate the most with you right now. (Keep in mind: Your needs for counseling can change over time. Preferences or needs you have now might be different than in the past, as well as down the road in the future!)

Do you prefer face-to-face sessions or online counseling? Consider if you prefer in-person sessions for a more personal, “in the room” connection, or online counseling for greater accessibility, convenience, or to expand your options outside of your immediate geographic area. Some therapists offer both options, whereas others only offer one format.
What payment options are available to you? Determine if you can pay out of pocket, and if so, what level of fees you can afford. Consider also if you have access to other payment options, such as private insurance, Medicaid, or Medicare. If the cost may be a barrier for you, you might see if there is a graduate mental health professional training program in your area that offers low-cost services from students who are supervised by faculty members, and/or if there is a nonprofit or faith-based organization in your community that offers services on a low-fee or fee-for-service basis.
Would you prefer to work with a generalist or specialist? Some mental health professionals work with a broad range of clients, whereas others offer more specialized services based on a particular client population or treatment approach. Some of the treatment concerns that might be best suited for a specialized therapist (if available) include trauma/abuse recovery, substance use disorders, eating disorders, and early childhood mental health.
What other specific preferences do you have? Think about factors like cultural backgrounds, gender identity, or similar life experiences that may influence your comfort and connection with a counselor. While the exact perfect match of a counselor that meets all of your preferences may or may not be available, you certainly can factor in any unique personal preferences you have as you search for the right counselor for you.

Searching for Options

After you’ve taken some time to clarify what type of counselor would feel most helpful to you, given your current needs and preferences, here are a few steps you can take toward finding options for the right counselor for you at this stage of your life:

To the extent that you’re comfortable asking around, seek out personalized recommendations from friends, colleagues, or trusted professionals (e.g, your healthcare provider) who may be familiar with counseling services in your area. In some local communities, there are Facebook groups (e.g., local parenting groups) where you could even ask anonymously for recommendations. With any personal recommendations you receive, keep in mind that each person’s needs are different, so be sure to seek out more information about any recommendations (e.g., by checking out their counseling practice website) to see if the recommended provider seems like a good fit for you.
Search through online databases and directories to explore providers who are registered on those sites. Make use of database search engine filters to hone in on providers who matched the preferences you identified earlier, such as whether providers offer in-person and/or virtual therapy, their demographic and professional background characteristics, and treatment approaches. Below are links to a few searchable databases for mental health professionals:
- Counselor Find (Hosted by the National Board for Certified Counselors)
- Therapist Locator (Hosted by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy)
- The Therapy Directory (Hosted by Psychology Today)
- Grow Therapy Provider Database
- Zocdoc
Contact your insurance provider, employer's EAP (Employee Assistance Program), or local community agencies for referrals and support in finding a counselor. Contacting local agencies can be especially helpful if you’re seeking out a specialist in a particular treatment concern. For example, I do a lot of work related to domestic violence, and I know that there are a lot of mental health professionals who haven’t received extensive training in how to work with clients impacted by domestic violence and other forms of abuse. I often recommend for someone seeking a counselor who has specialized knowledge and training on this topic to reach out to their local domestic violence agency to find out who the professionals working in that agency knows to be a trusted, well-trained professional in that community.
It also can be helpful to simply do some Googling, especially if you use your preferences as search terms. Basic Internet searching can be helpful when exploring options for counselors, as well as to seek out more information about any counselors you identify as a potential good fit. When searching online, keep in mind that paid advertising and search engine optimization (SEO) skills can impact which providers show up first in the results, so be sure to scroll through several options to explore as many potential counselors as you’d like. Examples of search terms that could be used include the following:
- “Counselor in Greensboro, NC, who specializes in addictions.”
- “Texas therapist offering virtual therapy for anxiety.”
- “Marriage counselor in Chicago for couples facing infertility.”
Reach out to potential providers to ask them questions directly. Some therapists offer free, brief initial consultations, whereas others may offer the option of asking questions via email or a website contact form. Even if you can’t fully assess the fit until you schedule a first intake session, keep in mind that you can change to a different therapist at any time, and counselors ethically should be willing to provide referrals for other options of providers if it turns out that it’s not a good fit.

Conclusion

Overall, finding the right counselor for you right now may take time and persistence, but it's important to prioritize your mental health and well-being and seek out the support you need. Reaching out for help is a courageous step toward growth, healing, and navigating life's challenges. Actually identifying the right support for you can feel confusing and overwhelming at times, but continue to take small steps forward toward seeking and connecting with a counselor with whom you can feel safe, supported, and trusting along your journey.

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Find and Focus on Your Cheerleaders

In the Midst of Major Changes, Find Joy in the Simple Things

Summer Mental Health Tips: Staying Cool When the Temps Are Rising

Finding Your Way through the Maze of Counselors: Some Tips for Finding the Right Counselor for You

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