Appreciating the Beauty in Unwanted Things

By Christine Murray

Life often surprises us with beauty in the most unexpected places.

As I sit down to write this blog post, I’m just getting back from a nice long walk. Since it’s springtime, walks these days can be extra pretty with all the new flowers in bloom. One section of my walk today took me by a little stream that was surrounded by lots and lots of bright yellow flowers. The flowers were so pretty I had to take a couple of pictures:

Drawn in by their cheery petals and how many there were, I became curious to learn more about this flower, so I pulled up my Google app and did an image search. It turns out that this flower is called the “Fig Buttercup.” And as pretty as the Fig Buttercup looks, it turns out that it’s an invasive plan that has been described as “aggressive,” “a problem,” the “least wanted in the Duke Forest,” and especially complicated because it is “innocent-looking.” Yikes! Beauty can, indeed, be deceiving!

As a true nature lover, I hope that people will follow local guidelines to report sightings of this beautiful but problematic plant (in the Triangle region of North Carolina, there’s even a reporting system through iNaturalist that feeds into an interactive map of Fig Buttercup sightings!). 

At the same time, when I learned about the true nature of the Fig Buttercup, I couldn’t help but reflect on how sometimes we can find and appreciate beauty even in the unexpected situations and circumstances of life. 

I would guess almost every single person has experienced an unwanted circumstance in life. It may be a relationship breakup, job loss, unexpected family conflict, health crisis, or even just daily hassles like a traffic jam. I know I have had my fair share of unwanted circumstances in life!

For some of these unwanted circumstances, there truly are no silver linings to find, and life can be very difficult at times. It would be toxic positivity to overlook the negative aspects of challenges in life or deny our emotional reactions to them. The Fig Buttercup is a reminder of this point as well - Invasive plants can cause a lot of problems if they’re not effectively managed. 

And yet, often we can identify some beautiful aspects, even in the midst of really challenging times. For example, going through a major life challenge might help you see more clearly the people who will stand by your side through thick and thin. Or, a painful, unwanted experience might be just the “last straw” you need to finally start to make a desired change in your life that you’ve been putting off for a long time. 

When facing difficult times, it can be helpful to embrace ambivalent, mixed feelings as they arise. For example, you might remind yourself, “This is really painful, and I also can see how it’s showing me how strong I am and how much I have support from really good friends in my life.” Likewise, we can embrace the reminder of the Fig Buttercup: “This plant can cause a lot of problems, and I can also smile and enjoy the pretty yellow colors for this moment.” 

So, if you happen to find yourself out walking this time of year, and a pretty but unwanted plant or weed catches your eye, consider taking a brief moment to appreciate the reminder of the beauty that sometimes can be found in even the most unwanted situations in life. 

Next time you encounter an unwanted situation, take a moment to look for the beauty within it. You might be surprised by what you find.