How to Process Fears When You’re Starting Something New

By Christine Murray

There's nothing like starting something new in life to bring up lots of fears! Does this sound familiar: You’re starting on a new chapter, whether in your life or career, and suddenly you find your mind brimming with various fears that visit you throughout the day, and often throughout the night as well?

It's entirely normal to experience a lot of fears when we’re on the brink of a new chapter in life. These fears can range from the fear of the unknown to fears of failure or success, fear of judgment, financial worries, decision-making anxiety, and unique personal fears specific to your situation.

Acknowledging and addressing our fears is important, although it can be challenging. Our fears, by their nature, can bring up strong emotional reactions like worry, stress, sadness, and even discouragement. Fears can be uncomfortable and daunting to face, so it’s understandable when we are tempted to ignore or suppress them.

However, managing and working through our fears is a key to avoid derailing our plans or hindering our progress toward our goals and desired changes in life. Although it's normal to want to appear (to ourselves and others) brave or to avoid our fears altogether, facing and processing them is a healthier approach.

Our fears can actually be powerful tools if we learn to navigate them effectively. They can serve as inner guides, highlighting areas where we should be cautious and proactive as we move forward into the unknown. While fears can feel overwhelming, they often point us toward realistic concerns that we can use to help us make plans and backup plans as we strive toward our goals.  

One way to approach our fears when starting something new is by appreciating them as a form of guidance. Viewing fears as signals that prompt us to take precautions or consider alternative pathways can shift our perspective. We can strive to balance caution with courage, all while taking calculated risks and stepping outside our comfort zones as we remain mindful and proactive.

Some helpful tools for processing fears in a healthy manner include the following:

1. Normalize and Validate Your Fears: Remind yourself that feeling fear in unfamiliar situations is normal. Validate your feelings, and honor both your excitement and fear without judgment.
2. Listen to Your Fear: Reflect on what your fear is trying to communicate. Identify underlying concerns and consider if there are valid steps you can take to address them proactively.
3. Process Secondary Emotions: Fear often triggers secondary emotions like anger, irritability, or sadness. Acknowledge these emotions and find healthy outlets for them, such as journaling or talking with a trusted friend or family members to express and understand them.
4. Release Physical Tension: Physical activities like exercise, yoga, or relaxation techniques can help release stress and tension associated with our fears.
5. Seek Support: Consider seeking professional support or connecting with supportive peers or groups facing similar challenges. Visit our Other Resources page for some links for seeking support. External validation and shared experiences can offer valuable insights and encouragement as you navigate your emotions when you’re starting something new in life.
   

Embracing fear as a guide rather than letting it overpower us can lead to healthier decision-making and progress as we’re moving into uncharted territories in our lives. By acknowledging, examining, and working through our fears, we can approach new beginnings with resilience and a balanced mindset, so we don’t allow our fears to derail us but instead to serve as a compass for growth and positive change.