 By Christine Murray
On a recent hike, I paused to reflect after I saw a small footbridge that crossed over a little creek. Looking at this simple yet sturdy structure, I couldn't help but reflect on how it symbolizes the transitional seasons in our lives. Often, we find ourselves between different seasons or parts of our lives, moving toward positive changes yet feeling held up in the middle (and maybe even pulled back to the past). As such, this bridge seemed like a fitting metaphor for navigating these in-between times. In-between seasons are natural parts of change–although they sometimes feel quite uncomfortable even if we know they’re a part of life. These seasons can feel uncertain, but they are often necessary for our growth and preparation as we move into a new chapter of our lives. Embracing the natural flow of transitions can help us move forward with more ease and acceptance. Just like bridges are built in structurally sound ways, we can tap into our personal strength and sturdiness as we move through life changes. Bridges are built to be able to withstand a lot of pressure and heavy loads. Similarly, we can be intentional about building our inner strength to remain resilient during times of change. Recognizing our strengths can provide comfort and confidence during seasons of change. Bridges–big and small–remind us that we often have a choice in how quickly we move across the gap seasons. Sometimes, we may choose to linger on a bridge and take in the scenery, while at other times, we hope to cross it quickly. Whenever possible, we can make the right decisions for ourselves about our pace during transitions. It's important to focus on our direction more than our speed and trust that our pace is right for us, even if it feels faster or slower than the pace that works for others. Bridges also can show us that, while standing in the middle of an in-between season, we can choose to look back to where we came from, especially if it helps us learn as we reflect on lessons from the past. Often, our past experiences hold lessons that can inform our future decisions and plans. By acknowledging and learning from our previous experiences, we can identify clues that might help us move toward a brighter future. Here are a few key takeaways that I invite you to consider regarding how bridges can be useful metaphors during transitional seasons in your life:
It’s natural to wish we could speed through some of the in-between seasons we face in life. These times of change can be quite uncomfortable and stressful. However, bridges help to remind us that we can be strong, patient, and reflective during life’s transitions, especially as we’re moving toward positive changes that we hope to see in our lives.
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By Christine Murray
As late September arrives and the air begins to cool, it's a clear signal that the seasons are changing. A change in seasons is a perfect metaphor for many changes we experience in our personal and professional lives. Just as we prepare for the fall by swapping out our summer clothes for warmer ones, life’s transitions are opportunities for preparation, adjustments, and embracing change. I've always been fascinated by the changing seasons. Growing up in Pittsburgh, I experienced dramatic shifts between winter, spring, summer, and fall. As I’ve grown older, I've come to appreciate the beauty and lessons that each season brings, particularly during times of transition. One key lesson from the changing seasons is that they can be both unpredictable and predictable. Living in North Carolina, we often hear jokes about our many "seasons" within a single week due to the erratic weather. These unpredictable shifts remind us that change is often unexpected. In a recent example from my own life during my recent career transition, much like the unpredictable weather, I faced uncertainties and challenges. Yet, I found comfort in the predictable aspects of the transition, knowing that with careful planning and preparation, I could navigate the change successfully. Just as we prepare for colder temperatures by checking our heating systems and swapping out clothes, we can also prepare for life’s transitions. Another important lesson from the seasons is that change is essential for growth. It's tempting to hold onto comfortable seasons, but as the saying goes, "the only constant in life is change." Embracing change keeps life interesting and can lead us to personal and professional growth. When I used to live in Florida during graduate school, I enjoyed the sunny days, but I missed the change of seasons a lot. Changing seasons help to mark the passage of time and encourage us to reflect and evolve. Reflection is a powerful tool when we’re transitioning between seasons. Just like the first cool morning after a long, hot summer, the signals we get during changing seasons serve as a reminder to approach new seasons with reflection and a beginner's mind, seeing new opportunities with fresh eyes. Finally, the changing seasons teach us that they don't erase what came before. The lessons and memories from past seasons remain with us and help to shape our future. During my recent career change, I carried forward the gratitude and lessons from that chapter of my life. This gratitude helped me navigate the change and embrace the new season with positivity and an open mind. As you face life’s transitions, I encourage you to embrace the changing seasons that come your way. Prepare for the unpredictable, plan for the predictable, reflect on your experiences, and carry forward the gratitude and lessons from your past. By doing so, you can navigate life's changes with grace and confidence, ready to embrace the new opportunities that lie ahead. Remember, just as the seasons change, so too do the chapters of our lives. Embrace each season with an open heart and a beginner's mind, and you'll find that change can be a beautiful and transformative experience. By Christine Murray Over the summer, I had the opportunity to travel with my older son on a cruise to the Norwegian fjords. It was an incredible time with him, and I was constantly in awe of the beautiful scenery, both from land and sea. I had some sense of how beautiful this part of the world might be because I had been following the Visit Norway Instagram page since we planned our trip. Leading up to the trip, I couldn't wait to see such amazing landscapes with my own eyes. Even though I anticipated the beauty that I would see, the reality was even more than I envisioned it would be. While we were in Norway, there were moments that literally took my breath away because of just how beautiful it was. Below are a couple of pictures so you can see a glimpse of what we saw: As a working mom, life is pretty busy. I’m certain that I often miss far too many moments of awe and wonder in my day-to-day life. The experience of seeing the awe-inspiring views of the fjords in Norway was a powerful reminder of how important the emotions of awe and wonder are as part of our overall mental and emotional health.
I believe that awe and wonder can contribute to our emotional and mental health in many ways. For one, they help to expand our horizons. Being in a moment of awe and wonder often means being fully present and experiencing life as it is. Additionally, awe and wonder can foster a sense of gratitude and appreciation, which are known to improve quality of life and emotional well-being. Awe and wonder also are part of the full range of human emotions that we can experience in life, and part of emotional health involves understanding and experiencing all the many layers of emotional responses available to us. Reflecting on my experiences traveling to the Norwegian fjords was a powerful reminder of the importance of making space and being intentional about seeking out awe and wonder in our lives. While it's one thing to experience awe and wonder during significant life events like a big trip, we can also find these emotions in our day-to-day lives. For example, we might feel awe and wonder when we think about things like a beautiful relationship in our life, some of the big and small blessings in our lives, and even how far we've come in life and the opportunities ahead. Unfortunately, many barriers can prevent us from experiencing awe and wonder in both big and small ways. Here are a few common barriers:
I invite you to seek out moments of awe and wonder throughout the coming week. For example, reflect on accomplishments you’re proud of, other things you're grateful for, and even complex processes of life that we normally don’t even pay attention to, like breathing or the beating of your heart. If possible, you might even take this challenge even further by placing yourself in an environment or situation that’s filled with natural beauty, such as hiking to a mountain top, visiting a beautiful flower garden, or cooking a delicious meal. If you're up for this challenge, consider keeping a list of awe-inspiring moments you encounter throughout the week ahead (and perhaps even beyond). In the comment below, I’d love to hear your feedback about a recent moment that inspired awe in your life, as well as your thoughts on how awe and wonder contribute to our mental and emotional health. By Christine Murray
In today’s all-too-busy and stressful world, the importance of practicing self-care is widely recognized. Most of us have learned much about burnout and its impact on our work, personal lives, and relationships. While basic self-care strategies, like making time for rest and relaxation, are often enough to recharge, there are times when our usual self-care strategies fall short. Sometimes, we find ourselves beyond normal levels of burnout, deeply exhausted, and in survival mode. Periods of major changes and transitions can contribute to this extreme level of burnout. Often, people enter new life chapters because they recognize that certain aspects of their past season were unhealthy or unsustainable, and these burdens might carry over into the new chapter. Major life changes also can bring added stressors, decision fatigue, and an overall feeling of being overwhelmed. If you find yourself in this deep state of exhaustion, there are steps you can take to address it, get to the root cause, and set up systems to avoid reaching this level of distress in the future. Here are a few approaches that might be helpful. Keep in mind that everyone is different, so it's important to experiment and see what works best for you. 1. Seek Professional Health Evaluations: Consider scheduling one or more health evaluations with qualified mental and physical health care providers. Sometimes, feelings of burnout and exhaustion might reflect underlying physiological or mental health conditions. Scheduling a checkup with your general physician or family doctor is a good start. They can help identify any physical issues that might be contributing to your fatigue. Additionally, consider seeking a mental health evaluation with a trained professional. Undiagnosed conditions like depression or anxiety can significantly impact your energy levels and overall well-being. Addressing these conditions with the help of a professional can be an important step toward recovering from deep burnout. 2. Engage in Deep Self-Evaluation and Reflection: Taking time for deep self-evaluation and reflection can help you examine and uncover possible root causes of your exhaustion. Reflect on your life circumstances and stressors. If you have trusted friends, family members, or a partner, consider talking to them about your feelings. They might provide valuable observations and support that offer insights into your experiences. Here are some questions to guide your self-reflection:
3. Find Moments of Stillness, Quiet, and Calm: Unplugging from distractions and finding moments of stillness can be incredibly restorative. Practices like mindfulness meditation, journaling, or simply sitting quietly can help you reconnect with yourself. Sometimes, stillness can be uncomfortable, especially if you’re coming out of a busy, stressful season. Be gentle with yourself and start with small doses, such as a few minutes of quiet time each day. You can gradually increase this time as you become more comfortable. 4. Review and Adjust Your Schedule: Conduct a detailed review of your schedule. Look for activities or meetings that you might remove to create more space for self-care. Consider proactively scheduling self-care activities, like a daily walk or relaxation time. This can help ensure that you prioritize your well-being, even when life gets busy. Additionally, look for opportunities to delegate tasks or say no to additional responsibilities. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it might be because you’re carrying so much on your own. Seek support from others who can help lighten your load. 5. Strengthen Emotional Support and Connections: Building emotional support and connections is very helpful during challenging times. Consider speaking with a counselor for professional guidance. Also, as much as possible, try to carve out time for the important people in your life. With people you can trust, consider opening up about your struggles instead of putting on a brave face. Emotional support from trusted people in your life can make a significant difference as you face difficult seasons. 6. Seek Opportunities for Fun, Joy, and Bliss: Consider how much space you’ve currently got available for fun and joy in your life. Burnout can be exacerbated by a lack of positive experiences and emotions. If at all possible, try to find small ways to bring laughter and joy into your day, whether through hobbies, social activities, or simple pleasures. When you do have these moments of joy, try to stay present in the moment instead of mentally checking out and worrying about your to-do list or other demands you’re facing. 7. Assess Your Season in Life: Life can feel overwhelming when we are straddling two different seasons of your life. Sometimes, we find ourselves carrying burdens or hurts from a past season, as well as from feeling stuck in our current one. This can be overwhelming, although sometimes there is a natural overlap across different seasons and stages in life. Make time for self-reflection and/or consider seeking support from a professional counselor to process past burdens so you can move forward in a healthy, positive way. Conclusion Facing extreme burnout can be isolating and lonely. It's important to be patient with yourself as you process your feelings, examine the causes, and work towards making changes. Seek support and take the necessary steps to address your burnout. With time and intention, you can move forward into a more peaceful and balanced future. Remember, healing takes time, and it's important to be kind to yourself throughout the process. By Christine Murray
When we’re considering or already moving into new chapters in life, big decisions often need to be made. Should you move to a new town? Take a new job? End a relationship, or deepen your commitment to one? These are just a few examples of the possible decisions that might come up when you’re on the brink of starting a new chapter. You may have heard the advice that it's wise not to make any major decisions after a significant change or loss in your life. For instance, after losing a loved one, it's often recommended to give yourself time before making big decisions like moving or selling your home. Similarly, after major changes like losing your job or going through a divorce, it’s generally helpful to allow yourself time to adjust before making any big changes. However, life isn't always neat and tidy, and sometimes we must make decisions even amidst emotional turmoil. Sometimes, some decisions are urgent and must be made quickly, even under less-than-ideal conditions. For example, if you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship or workplace, you may need to remove yourself from harm as soon as possible without having the luxury of time to fully process your emotions or create the ideal decision-making context. In these situations, do your best to weigh all the factors, set aside as much time as possible for processing your thoughts and feelings, and seek guidance from trusted sources to avoid making decisions in isolation. Be cautious of those who might not have your best interests at heart during such vulnerable times. It may be helpful to seek support from trusted sources and professionals, such as mental health therapists or counselors, and remember that crisis resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the 9-8-8 Lifeline are available. When you do have a little more time on your hands to make big decisions, even when heightened emotions are involved, aim to move forward in a way that promotes your mental health, nurtures healthy relationships, and moves you toward a brighter future. Below are a few of the ways that I’ve found helpful, both personally and professionally. Take Your Time When possible, permit yourself to take the time you need. Sometimes external pressures or your own discomfort with intense emotions might push you toward making a quick decision. While it can be tempting to act swiftly to resolve discomfort, remind yourself that it’s natural to need time to make major, complicated decisions. Set healthy boundaries with others as needed to give yourself space, and communicate your timeline with those involved. For example, you might say, "I'm working through this decision and expect to have clarity within the next six months (or whatever timeline makes sense to you). I’ll share my decision when I’m ready." This sets clear boundaries and allows you to make decisions at your own pace. Process Your Emotions Work on processing your emotions in healthy ways to make decisions from a calm, clear, and focused mindset. I’ve discussed the value of processing complex emotions during major transitions in previous posts on the Start Here blog. (For example, click here to read this past blog post about the mixed emotions that can arise during times of change.) Journaling, talking with a counselor or trusted loved one, practicing meditation, and getting physical exercise are all potentially helpful strategies for processing intense emotions. Also, pay attention to your feelings and what they might signal about your decision. Gather Information Seek as much information as possible to make an informed decision. This will look different depending on your specific situation, such as a job change, relationship change, or moving to a new city. In our digital age, we can connect with a wealth of information online, although it’s important to seek credible information from trusted sources. Read books, find credible online sources, take courses, listen to podcasts, and watch educational videos. Knowledge can help ease the anxiety and uncertainties that often accompany big decisions. Break Down the Decision Major decisions can feel overwhelming. Breaking really big decisions down into smaller, manageable parts can make the process less daunting. For example, if you’re facing a job change, consider just some of the following smaller decisions that might arise:
Breaking the decision into smaller parts allows you to tackle one aspect at a time, making the overall process more manageable. Create Space for Decision-Making Look for ways to create space in your decision-making process to make it as healthy and personalized as possible. Most major decisions are actually a series of smaller steps and choices that you can begin sorting out one at a time. For example, if you’re navigating a career change, focus on one aspect at a time, such as updating your resume, researching potential employers, or networking within your industry. Think of it like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, where the best approach is usually focusing on one section at a time. With puzzles, people often start with the edges or a distinctive part of the image and gradually piece the puzzle together. Eventually, the full picture will come into view, making the process more manageable. Conclusion Navigating big decisions during times of intense emotions can be challenging. I’ve been through seasons of my life where I faced significant decisions while managing intense emotions, and I know how vulnerable and uncomfortable it can feel. There are no easy answers, but giving yourself time, processing your emotions, and seeking guidance can help. As much as possible, focus on moving toward something positive rather than just running away from something negative. Taking your time to envision your future, process difficult emotions, and navigate your decisions in a patient, proactive, and intentional way pave the way toward healthier and more fulfilling decisions that you’ll feel good about over the long term. By Christine Murray
Have you ever been in a season in your life where you felt stuck, restless, in need of a major change, or some combination of all of the above? I know I have! I confess I've had times when I've texted a group of friends and said, "Is it normal to feel restless at this stage of life?" And I've spent my fair share of time Googling in search of answers to questions like, "What to do when you feel stuck?" or "How do you know when it's time to make a change?" Having grappled with those questions myself, I know how confusing, frustrating, and challenging these restless seasons can be. These are often times when you start to feel like you’re not exactly where you want to be in life, or some part of your life isn't going very well—whether it's a job, a relationship, or just trying to sort through a new change in life—but you're not exactly sure where to go. Because I know how uncomfortable, and yet also common, restless seasons are, today’s blog post focuses on some signs that you might be itching for a change in some aspect of your life, and then what you can do about it when those feelings come up. Oftentimes, these feelings can be opportunities to seek support, guidance, and an empathetic, compassionate presence to help you sort through these feelings and experiences. As a mental health professional, I know that working with a professional counselor or therapist can be very helpful during these times. And, if you start to feel really distressed about your feelings and experiences, just know that there are crisis resources available. You can visit our Other Resources page to find resources that might be helpful to you as you navigate feelings of being stuck. Signs You Might Be Ready for Change Intuition and Gut Feelings: Sometimes, we just know. We may have an inner sense of knowing, an intuitive hunch, or just a gut feeling that something needs to change. It's normal to recognize on some level that we need change, but not know exactly what that change should be or if we're ready to make it for any number of reasons, such as financial resources or lack of clarity about what the change might look like. Exhausted All Options: Another sign can be that we’ve tried everything (or at least lots and lots of possible solutions), and nothing is helping us feel better about our current situation. For example, if you’re feeling stuck in your current job, maybe you've tried diving deep into new projects, connecting with different colleagues, seeking a promotion, or talking with your boss about changes. If every little change or tweak you've tried hasn’t worked out, it might be a sign that your current circumstances simply aren’t working for you anymore. Lack of Growth: You may have stopped feeling like you're growing in your current situation. Maybe you’ve stopped learning, experiencing new things, or having new opportunities where you are now. Feeling like we're not growing anymore might be a sign that we're ready for a change. Persistent Themes: You start to notice themes in daydreams or other ideas about what life might look like for you if your life was different. Perhaps you're feeling stuck living in your current city, and you start to find yourself getting excited about living somewhere else. You might find yourself looking up apartments or properties in another city, exploring things to do there, or even planning a visit. It’s natural to be curious about different ways of life, but if you find yourself coming around to the same theme or interests frequently, especially when combined with other feelings of restlessness, this might be a sign you’re being pulled in a new direction in life. Steps to Take When Feeling Restless Sit with Your Feelings: Know that it's normal in life to have seasons of restlessness and even feeling stuck. Almost everyone has these feelings from time to time. Try to process these emotions without reacting immediately. You don’t have to make any sudden moves, and remind yourself that these are normal feelings that can come up throughout life. Follow Your Attractions and Energy: Seek low-risk ways of exploring possible changes that pique your curiosity. For example, if you find yourself interested in starting a new business after working in a corporation for a long time, explore those interests in small, interesting ways, such as by listening to entrepreneurial podcasts or checking out small business books from your local library. Permit yourself to explore things that are pulling you and attracting you. Focus on moving toward a vision that is positive and exciting, rather than just moving away from something negative. Seek Support and Guidance: You don't have to make changes and decisions alone. Ask trusted family members or friends for advice, seek information, and consider working with a counselor or coach. It can be extremely helpful to seek guidance from someone who has either been through similar changes or who has professional training to help people navigate these experiences. Move at Your Own Pace: Everyone’s different. Some people are quick to make decisions and move into new changes, whereas for others, it might take years of exploring. Remind yourself that you can go at your own pace. You don’t have to rush into any decisions or make changes before you're ready and feel confident about them. Often, decisions that are well-planned, fully explored, and navigated thoughtfully are much more likely to stick. Conclusion While times of feeling stuck or restless can be extremely frustrating and stressful, try to reframe them as a call or an invitation to explore the possibilities of your life. These feelings can help you move forward. Take time to explore and honor your feelings, see what they’re trying to tell you, and see what changes they might be leading you toward. Even when they can be uncomfortable, know that seasons of feeling stuck or restless might be helping you to grow, change, and move closer to living the fullest version of your life possible.  By Christine Murray A few months ago, I stumbled across these flowers poking through the cracks in a large parking lot. I've always loved seeing flowers bloom in hard places. For me, it's a powerful reminder that even amidst tough situations, we can usually find cracks in the surface of our challenges. These cracks become places where we can grow, find positivity, and move toward a brighter picture than we might see at first glance. When I see a flower growing in the pavement or some other hard place, I pause and think about everything that had to happen for that flower to bloom. First, there had to be at least a tiny amount of soil hidden within that crack. Then, a seed had to somehow land right in the middle of the crack and have enough sunshine and water to grow. This reminds me that in the middle of difficult circumstances, growth doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and a lot of different factors coming together to make growth possible. While wildflowers growing in the cracks of a parking lot might seem like a happy accident, when we find ourselves in hard times, we can look to these resilient flowers for inspiration. These flowers help us see the potential for creating something beautiful and positive, even in the middle of our hardest times. They remind us that we can look for symbolic cracks in the pavement—possible openings for us even when surrounded by tough circumstances. Life can be complicated and challenging. I’ve been through my fair share of challenges, and it's not easy to go through difficult times. Sometimes we wish we could wave a magic wand and make our problems disappear. While we can take steps to cope, practice self-care, and navigate our emotions, sometimes positive changes just take time, and we might feel stuck in all sorts of challenging circumstances. We might face financial challenges, stress at work, relationship and family problems, a sense of loneliness, or a lack of clarity about our purpose. It's natural to feel overwhelmed when it seems like hard times are all around. Keeping flowers that grow in the pavement in mind can inspire and motivate us to keep looking for and embracing the positive “cracks” in our situation—places where we can grow and bloom, even in difficult times. Here are a few ways to search for and take advantage of the cracks in the pavements of life:
If you’re blooming amidst difficult circumstances or working to create conditions for growth, look for opportunities to appreciate your growth, be patient with the process, and celebrate your progress along the journey. By Christine Murray Earlier this summer, during one of my usual walks, a beautiful flowering tree along my path caught my eye. Its blossoms were an eye-catching white-cream color, and I stopped to take a picture so I could continue to admire its beauty even when I wasn’t out walking.  A few weeks later, on the same route, I was surprised to see a big change in the plant I had admired. The flowers, initially a lovely white, had developed beautiful pink tones. The combination of pink and white added to its beauty, prompting me to stop and take another picture.  I was so surprised by how dramatically the colors had changed and how long it took for this transformation to happen. While I’m no horticulturist, I love flowers and often admire them on my walks. In my experience, it’s rare to see such a dramatic change in a flower’s color over time. Typically, a pink flower stays pink, a red one stays red, a yellow one stays yellow, and so on.
The unique transformation of these flowers from white to pink gave me pause. It reminded me that sometimes in life, it takes time for the full picture, the full details, and the full colorful image of our experiences to come into focus. If you’ve lived long enough, you probably remember the days when we used to take pictures with film cameras. You had to take the film to be developed at a photo shop or, if you were a photographer, develop it in a studio. In this digital age, it’s easy to forget how the development process of pictures used to take time because now we’re so accustomed to seeing digital images almost instantaneously. The film development process is a reminder that sometimes things take time to develop, and we can't always have the instantaneous answers, information, or details we desire. This concept holds significant relevance for us as we approach changing seasons, work toward different goals, or make big life changes. We might start with a vague sense of what we’re looking at, but as we lean into these changes or goals, new details emerge that help us make more sense of our circumstances. Once we see the full picture and all the details, we have more answers and information that help us truly appreciate our experiences. For example, now that I know these beautiful flowers eventually transition from white to pink, I can look forward to this transformation whenever I see the same type of flowers in future years. I’ll appreciate them more next time because I was able to witness their full development. If you’re in a season of making changes, it can be frustrating because we often want to see the full picture from the beginning. However, there’s value in appreciating the time it takes for things to develop and the opportunity to see the process unfold. Nature and film-based photos provide powerful reminders of the importance of patience, appreciation, and taking time to notice the beauty in our experiences. As you pursue or implement new changes or goals in your life, embrace the opportunity to learn and discover more as time progresses. Remember how much can be gained through the journey of embracing the process rather than rushing to the end goal. By Christine Murray
We all face waiting seasons at times—periods when we feel stuck and frustrated because we're waiting for something to happen in our life, at work, or in a relationship. Until we have the thing or the answer or the information that we're waiting for, we feel held back from being able to move forward. Waiting seasons can come in many different forms. They might be short or long. We could be waiting for something significant or something more minor and inconsequential but still necessary before we can move forward. Sometimes we're waiting on something tangible, like a new job or a set amount of financial resources. Other times, we're waiting on things that are much more intangible, like clarity about a decision or a feeling of greater purpose in our lives or work. We might be waiting on something related to our jobs, relationships, family, financial status, a test result, a medical report, or an upcoming opportunity. Regardless of what we're waiting for, these times can feel very frustrating. It can feel like we're held back from moving forward until we have what we've been waiting for. While waiting seasons can be challenging and often feel out of our control, there are things we can do to navigate these times in healthy, positive, and constructive ways. Here are a few strategies that I have found helpful: 1. Rest During Waiting Seasons Waiting seasons often provide a wonderful opportunity to rest. When it arrives, the thing, answer, or information we're waiting for might require a lot of our time, energy, and attention. Embracing the waiting season as an opportunity to rest can provide us with time to build up our energy and resources. While we may be excited or anticipating what is to come, resting can help us prepare for a potentially busy period ahead. Take advantage of the waiting season to slow down your pace. Enjoy naps, leisurely walks, and try to get extra sleep. Rest is essential even during busy seasons, but a waiting season offers a unique chance to focus on it more deeply. Think of rest during a waiting season like an animal hibernating during winter, resting deeply to be ready for the more active seasons to come. 2. Find Meaning in the Wait If you find it helpful, try to find meaning and purpose in the waiting period. This doesn't mean overriding the frustration you might feel, but sometimes waiting seasons are opportunities for growth, preparation, and building patience. Your own sense of meaning in the waiting season might tap into your value system, beliefs, or spiritual viewpoints. Consider whether there might be some meaning that you can unearth during the waiting season. If not, that's okay—waiting doesn't always lead to existential enlightenment. But trying to find meaning in our experiences, whether good, bad, or in-between, can be beneficial. 3. Do What You Can While it's important to rest, it can also be helpful to stay busy in meaningful ways. Consider if there are things you can do and steps you can take while waiting that will position you for what might come. Depending on your circumstances, you could develop potential plans for different possible scenarios. For example, if you're waiting for a job, think about the steps you would need to take if you get the job and what you might do if it isn't the right fit. 4. Build Skills and Resources During waiting seasons, we can focus on building skills and resources that might help you regardless of what happens. This could involve personal growth, skill development, or gaining new healthy habits. For example, a waiting season might bring an opportunity to work on communication skills or financial literacy. These underlying tools and resources can be valuable in any situation, helping you feel more prepared and capable for whatever lies ahead. 5. Embrace Hobbies and Interests Sometimes, we just need to pass the waiting time with as many enjoyable activities as possible. Embrace hobbies or interests that you might have less time for once the waiting period ends. Distractions like binging a favorite TV show, picking up a hobby, or spending time with friends can help you enjoy your time while also navigating the frustrations of waiting. 6. Process Your Feelings As a mental health professional, I believe strongly in the importance of welcoming and processing all our feelings. Waiting can be very uncomfortable and frustrating. It’s essential to process these feelings rather than pretend they're not there or meet them with toxic positivity. Emotional processing tools such as writing out your feelings, talking with a counselor, or keeping a mood journal can be extremely valuable. And remember to reach out for help if you find yourself in distress, such as by contacting the 988 Lifeline. 7. Connect with Others Finally, another important step during waiting seasons is to connect with others. This might mean enjoying your relationships and leaning on your support systems, such as friends and family. It might also involve reaching out to a counselor or other professional support. Finding people who have gone through similar waiting seasons can be particularly helpful, as they can share how they navigated similar experiences. Conclusion Waiting seasons are indeed challenging and frustrating. They are not easy and can bring up a lot of emotions and a sense of being unable to move forward. Take good care of yourself during these times. Focus on the aspects of the season that you can control, while also processing the feelings that come up around the parts that are out of your influence. Remember that life will likely involve a series of waiting seasons. Try to see these waiting seasons not as wasted time but as opportunities for growth, learning, and rest. Even when they can be frustrating, waiting seasons often bring chances for us to prepare, grow, and rejuvenate. By Christine Murray
Wouldn't it be nice if we had a crystal ball that gave us all the answers to alleviate any feelings of fear or uncertainty when starting a new chapter in life, relationships, or work? Oftentimes, when we're beginning a new phase, we can get overwhelmed by the uncertainties and the things we wish we knew but don't. It's natural to feel scared when we don't have all the answers as we step into something new. In reality, it's more common not to have all the answers than it is to have enough information to feel completely assured, stable, and certain as we take those next steps forward. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a planner. I love to create detailed plans based on facts, figures, and information. This summer, I had the opportunity to take a few exciting trips with my family. Leading up to those trips, I spent a lot of time googling things to do at our destination, what to pack, information about our accommodations, and details about local activities and customs. All the information I gathered was so helpful. It made me feel as prepared as possible, especially going into new or unknown situations. It helped us plan, pack, and map out our schedule for each day to make the most of our adventures and opportunities. Planning is great, but even in the best of circumstances, there are always unknowns. For example, I might know what time my transportation is supposed to pick me up, but what if it's late? I might know what to pack, but what if something unexpected happens? What if we arrived at our hotel and the room we reserved wasn't available? Having answers, information, and advanced plans can be reassuring, but life's uncertainties and unpredictability still pop up. Even when we can do some planning, we often have to be prepared for the unexpected and acknowledge that there will be surprises along the way. Starting new chapters and making big life changes is the same. Sometimes, realizing how much we don't know can prevent us from taking a leap. For instance, if you're unhappy at work and want to explore a different career path, the uncertainty of how it will feel, what steps to take, and how successful you might be can make staying in an uncomfortable situation seem safer. The comfort of familiarity can outweigh the risk and fear of moving forward with partial information. Embracing uncertainty and unanswered questions as natural parts of making life changes can help us move into these experiences with a positive and balanced perspective. Expecting uncertainty and preparing to navigate it helps us feel confident moving ahead into the changes we want to see in life, even if we don't know exactly how things will turn out. If we can truly embrace this uncertainty and the adventure it brings, we can make the most of opportunities for growth, development, and even our enjoyment of life. Think about it: If you knew exactly how every moment of every day, week, and step on your journey would go, it might feel comfortable and predictable, but also kind of boring, wouldn't it? Surprises in life can be difficult and scary. Some of them do turn out badly and lead to outcomes we're not happy about. Yet, at the same time, unexpected developments, opportunities, pathways, and even life lessons from challenging experiences add to the beauty of fully experiencing our lives. When we're on the brink of new changes, it can be tempting to wish away feelings of uncertainty, lack of clarity, and the overall sense of challenge that comes from not having all the answers. Accepting that uncertainty is part of the process and even embracing some of the adventures it brings doesn't eliminate stress and discomfort. However, it helps us see that we're on a normal, natural part of the human experience—growing, evolving, and changing through different seasons of life. If you find yourself facing uncertainty as you look ahead to life changes you'd like to make, honor the feelings that come up as you explore that uncertainty. Consider perspectives that help you move forward and don't keep you from pursuing the changes you want in your life. When we accept that uncertainty is a given, we can approach new beginnings with an open heart and mind, ready to learn, adapt, and grow. Remember, you don't need all the answers to start; You just need the courage to take the first step. |
AuthorThis blog is written by Christine E. Murray, Ph.D., Founder of Start Here Counseling & Consulting, PLLC. Archives
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Unauthorized use and/or duplication of any material found at this web-site without express and written permission from this site’s owner is strictly prohibited. Unless or until a counselor/client relationship is established in writing, please note that the website for Start Here Counseling & Consulting, PLLC, is not a resource for providing personalized advice or guidance for any individual or organization, either through this website or any associated communication challenges that include but are not limited to social media, emails, or direct messages. Start Here Counseling & Consulting, PLLC, also is not a crisis response resource. Please visit our Other Resource page for additional information, including 24/7 support resources related to domestic violence and mental health.
Logo design: Eva Vienna Creative
Brand photography: Toni Walker Photography
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of any material found at this web-site without express and written permission from this site’s owner is strictly prohibited. Unless or until a counselor/client relationship is established in writing, please note that the website for Start Here Counseling & Consulting, PLLC, is not a resource for providing personalized advice or guidance for any individual or organization, either through this website or any associated communication challenges that include but are not limited to social media, emails, or direct messages. Start Here Counseling & Consulting, PLLC, also is not a crisis response resource. Please visit our Other Resource page for additional information, including 24/7 support resources related to domestic violence and mental health.